38 yer olds are good kisserssss
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
