hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
