Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
