i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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