$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize