she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Randomize
