what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize