so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
