Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
