The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
