yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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