we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
