I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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