Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize
