I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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