last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
