Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
sex in a hospital.. check
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
