I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
