Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
