Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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