i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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