CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We have started to decorate penises.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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