how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
