no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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