First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
