I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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