Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
