His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize