I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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