hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
