I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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