Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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