we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We are all done wearing pants today
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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