he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
