Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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