they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
