Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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