she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
