No awkward lesbian experiences without me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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