I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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