I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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