I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
