Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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