Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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