A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize