I didn't shave. On purpose
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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