It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
