i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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