You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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