if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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