from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
