dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
