Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on

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(503): View more from Oregon

College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in

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(303): View more from Colorado

Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms

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