I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
