Say something about gay babies.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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