jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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