i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize