He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
