man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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