remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
