K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
