She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
