I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
