I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
