On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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