well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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