Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
