Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
