Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize