we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
