I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize