God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
