Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
