ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
