when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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