You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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