Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
