We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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