you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
