Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
